Whom will John McCain pick for VP?

Well, this item will have a very short shelf life, as Senator John McCain is on the precipice of selecting his running mate. Whomever he picks, it would serve them well if they have experience working in assisted living facilities for older people.

But it makes me wonder…who will the king panderer pick? My personal choice is former Miss Alaska runner up, Gov. Sarah Palin. It’s not that I like her politics, per se, but she is pretty hot (for a republican politician). And she is known as a “hockey mom.” But if Jittery John does pick her…I’ll bet that Cindy will have something to say about it. McCain did, after all, dump his previous wife for a younger model…and he does seem to be wedded to the ideas of the past.

Then again, McCain is such a tool that he should move his campaign headquarters to a Home Depot. And being a tool, he’ll probably go the tried and tested route of pandering to the neoconservative-nutjob branch of the republican party…rather than the women. The neocons are far more easily duped than women…women would see through the pick as a blatant attempt to court Hillary supporters.

UPDATE! Well it looks like I was right. He chose Palin. She has a lot of compelling stories that will appeal to a variety of key conservative audiences. But she is so inexperienced that when asked about the Iraq war LAST YEAR she said she didn't really know much about it. My five-year-old son is better educated on the key issues facing this country than is Sarah Palin. John McCain has evinced such bad judgement by making a pick that was done solely to pander to disenfranchised Hillary supporters, that he should be drubbed soundly by the media. But Teflon John is sure to get a pass, as the male dominated media types drool all over themselves at the prospect of spending time with a beauty queen also ran. The Republican spin doctors will try to convince us that she's readly to lead the country, should McCain eat one too many Big Macs and punch his ticket to neocon heaven. But the prospect of having Sarah Palin as president is just about the most frightening thing facing this country today, because of her extremist beliefs on key social issues and an eye-popping lack of understanding about one of the single most important issues in the world today (Iraq). McCain may have found a moll - but hopefully Americans can get over the fact that she's a relatively handsome woman and see her for what she really is: a dangerous distraction.

It was 20 years ago today that Lee Atwater taught the band to play

Lee Atwater was famous for many things. He was a restaurateur, an avid blues and jazz record collector (which is how I came to know him), and he was the architect and progenitor of the kind of character assassination politics that has come to define the Republican party over the last 20 years.

Karl Rove is Atwater’s most famous and successful protégé. In addition to carrying on the tradition of personal-attack politics, Rove also managed to establish a nefarious empire within the executive office that is rivaled only by Dick Cheney for the breadth of its reach and the depths to which it will sink in the name of a neoconservative supremacy.

John “Sidekick” McCain is continuing the Atwater/Rove legacy through Steve Schmidt – a Rove minion. McCain believes he must employ the same hateful, dishonest tactics, as did the two Bushes before him, to win the election. God forbid McCain would actually try to win on the issues. God forbid he would eschew the Atwater/Rove/Schmidt continuum since he himself was once a victim of Rove’s dishonest attacks. But what am I saying? This is a guy who spent years being tortured in a prison…and now condones America’s policy of torture. (For the record, he voted against it before he voted for it!) Well – I guess if John hadn’t been taken prisoner and tortured, he never would have become the iconic figure he indisputably is. Maybe he sees torture as a means to an end? Maybe some poor tortured Muslim will soon also reach the pinnacle of his personal political aspiration thanks to McCain’s pro-torture policy. But I digress.

Schmidt’s job is simple: sell the big lies! He will preside over the neocon smear campaign that will link Obama to everything from the Weathermen Underground, to being a “registered” Muslim. And the unified neocon Greek chorus will repeat these lies ad nauseum until people begin to accept them as fact.

While I find the conduct of the Atwater-Rove-Schmidt continuum to be utterly reprehensible and difficult to stomach – I am equally disappointed and mystified at the democrats’ tepid response to the vicious below-the-belt blows they’ve suffered over the last two elections (especially the swiftboating of John Kerry). Only James Carville seems to understand that if you get in the ring with a dirty fighter – you have to fight dirtier and smarter in order to win (it’s the Chicago way, after all). Crying out for the Marquis of Queensbury rules while your opponent is emasculating you doesn’t cut it. I’d hoped the Democrats would be better prepared to take the offensive during the ‘08 convention. But for the most part, the Democratic convention has been a giant love in. Newsflash: this isn’t the 60’s. The Dems are whistling past the graveyard if they think they can continue to take the highroad against the hooligan tactics of Karl Rove, Steve Schmidt and John McCain. To date, only John Kerry seems to have taken any serious shots at McCain. And his speech wasn’t even covered by many of the news networks!

John McCain offers no solutions. John McCain only offers more of the same shrill, hateful personal attacks that have turned so many Americans away from our democratic process. The question is this: What are the democrats prepared to do about it? If I were advising them – I’d insist that they focus on the key messages with the same tenacity as their neocon counterparts. Every time a democrat talks about the election he or she should remind their audience that the last eight years have brought us Enron, Attorney-gate, Plame-gate, the Iraq war, 9/11, record gas prices and record oil-company profits, Katrina, torture, Abu-Graib, a squandered budget surplus, a failing economy, an erosion of our stature in the world, unchecked aggression by Russia, the rise of Iran in the Middle East, a nuclear arms program in N. Korea, Halliburton and no-bid contracts for Bush/Cheney cronies, Guantanamo, waterboarding, cronyism personified by Harriet Meyers, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, Larry Craig, the mortgage crisis, bank failures, airline failures, illegal wiretapping, no progress on immigration, no progress on the environment, no progress in health care, no progress in education, and the list goes on and on and on and on. This is the Bush legacy.

Every time a democrat talks about the election they should emphasize that John McCain is the new standard bearer for the same old Bush, Rove and Atwater politics. And then – say HELL NO! We won’t stand for another four years of this misery.

The Return of the Two-Headed Snake

Do you remember Zell Miller? He is that loathsome Georgian senator, a democrat in name only, who embarrassed himself and his party by lashing out at John Kerry during the Republican national convention four years ago. He claimed that a Kerry white house would defend this country with “spitballs.” When later challenged by the press to defend his remarks and back them up with substance, he famously said to Chris Matthews, “I wish we lived in the day where you could challenge a person to a duel.” Miller would have been a pitiable curiosity, like a deformed, two-headed snake, had he not been so vehmently ill-tempered. He shortly thereafter left elected office – thank god – and now serves on the board of the National Rifle Association.

Now we have word that Senator John McCain’s personal lap dog, Judas Joe Lieberman, has accepted an invitation to speak at the GOP convention. This makes me laugh, because a lot of conservative Republicans probably wouldn’t have let him into their country clubs eight years ago…now he is going to be one of their key speakers! That’s progress, I suppose. Maybe it has to do with Joe downgrading his belief in Judiasm from Orthodox, to the vaguely undescriptive “observant.” Even though his watered down view on Judaism would now enable him to plan for Iran’s invasion on a Saturday, the real reason Joe has managed to ingratiate himself among the neocon hawks is solely based on his support for our horribly misguided invasion and occupation of Iraq. (That, and a willingness to engage Iran preemptively.) For this the neocons are willing to let bygones be bygones. By the way, those bygones include voting against a federal law banning late term abortions. Amazing how those wedge issues seem so unimportant to the neocons now...that is unless McCain has a senior moment and actually picks him as a running mate. But for now, it's all water under the bridge.

So once again Democrats will have to endure another stray sheep wandering over the fence to gambol with the wolves at this year’s Republican convention. Once again, we’ll hear the same fear mongering claims about Democrats’ unwillingness to preemptively engage our enemies around the world. Those of us clear thinking Americans need not be too concerned this time, because Lieberman’s monontonous and soporiphic speaking style will probably lull his audience to sleep, negating the sort of rallying effect that crazy Zell Miller had. But let’s hope that at the end of the day this move derails Lieberman’s political career as quicly as it did Zeller’s. Then we can just sit back and appreciate this two-headed snake for the pitiable curiosity that he is.

What do Groucho Marx & John McCain have in common?

Well - aside from being in roughly the same age bracket...not much. Groucho was brilliant, and hysterically funny. McCain is befuddled and unintentionally funny. Take this, for example: In response to Russia's recent invasion of Georgia, the extinguished...I mean distinguished Senator from Arizona had this to say: "In the 21st century, nations don't invade other nations." He's kidding, right? Last I checked we are currently tangled up in two ill-conceived invasions. So...either he is just too old to remember...or is trying to be funny. What's up John? Do you think the death of Bernie Mac has left an opening for you in the Original Kings of Comedy?

Paging Mr. John McCain

OK - I'm not the first to notice this...but how funny is it to see John McCain admonish, in a most stentorian manner, the congress to get back to work and vote on an energy bill? Really John? How are we to take him seriously? He has missed more than 100 consecutive votes and has a worse case of absenteeism than the most repugnant deadbeat dad. In fact, he's missed all eight votes on energy bill S. 3335 - I guess it doesn't matter, since he's out there warning us against the futility in maintaining tire pressure and the critical importance of offshore drilling (which until recently he opposed).

What's next? Is McCain going to come out in support of the Pickens Plan? You remember T. Boone Pickens, don't you? He just testified before Congress - selling a plan for wind turbines (which he manufactures) and natural gas (he founded the largest supplier of NG in California). Pickens claims to be trying to elevate the dialogue on energy policy (and not merely his bank account and political influence). He certainly convinced McCain's lapdog during the sales pitch: Joe Lieberman was slobbering all over himself in admiration of Mr. Pickens. Not that it should bother "Judas" Joe - but Pickens also funded the miserable "swift boat veterans" attack machine. Not that I'm opposed to reducing U.S. dependence on oil (not just foreign oil) - I'm all for it - but Pickens failed to mention that the U.S. controls even less natural gas than we do oil! He also failed to mention that the largest natural gas providers (Russia and the Middle East) are proposing an OPEC style cartel. Congressional support for the Pickens Plan is pretty short sighted if you ask me. But I digress. Back to issue at hand.

McCain is all for an energy policy that carries on the Bush administration's love-affair with big oil. And he is now calling Pelosi to task, and his comrades to arms. Maybe he will even turn up for a Senate vote this time (he's missed 82% of the votes so far this year). But don't be fooled. This is just a political, election-year stunt. If he were serious about energy policy, he'd try to come up with something that isn't dwarfed by Paris Hilton.

A General Whom I Would Readily Follow into Battle

Well, if you are on any number of mailing lists, you know that Obama is on the verge of announcing his running mate. I don't ask for much in this world: that my children lead a long, healthy and happy life, that Hollywood stops re-making films and TV shows which are nostalgic and sentimental to me, that Wes Anderson picks a song from my band to be in one of his films, that the Washington Capitals win the Stanley cup before I'm too old too old to appreciate it, and that Dick Cheney does jail time. But now I would like to add one more thing to the list. Please, please, please let Wes Clark become Obama's vice presidential candidate. I won't bore you with all the details of why I admire him - you can research him yourself and make up your own mind. But if he's on the ticket, I'm joining the Obama/Clark army.

UPDATE AS OF AUGUST 27, 2008
Well, last night Joe Biden accepted the nomination for Vice President. While initially disappointed - I can see now why Obama chose him. I think he will make a formidable partner...and even though he wasn't my first choice...they will still be able to count me among their loyal foot soldiers.

Remind me again...which countries comprise the Axis of Evil?

I'm not an expert on Russian affairs - so I can be forgiven for being a bit blind-sided by Russia's recent aggression against its former satellite. Though this is certainly not Bush's fault, it is just another example of something happening on Bush's watch that seemed to come out of left field. But what about Condi? After all, isn't Russian affairs her area of expertise? How is it that Georgia, a U.S. supported country vying for entry into NATO, with an American-educated leader, is being violated by one of our alleged allies and we seem to be caught completely unawares?

This is the kind of aggression that defined Russia throughout a great deal of the 20th century, and even as recently as Chechnya. This isn't something with which we are altogether unfamiliar. Yet America seems impotent in trying to intervene on Georgia's behalf. Georgia, is not only a partner in the so-called "war on terror" - but is the only non-Russian controlled oil pipeline through the region. I'm sure the administration hasn't lost sight of this - they did, after all, try to air lift Georgian troops back to the home land. Too bad they are out there with us on the wild goose chase for weapons of mass destruction.

Under Bush's watchful foreign policy eye Iran has moved to the threshold of becoming a nuclear-armed power; Al Q'aida has firmly retrenched in Afghanistan and in the Northern Provinces; Russia is trampling countries threatening her erstwhile Soviet hegemony; and Iraq is in a shambles. And our current foreign policy is as clueless as ever. If ever this country needed to veer as far away from its current foreign policy agenda, it's now. That means no McCain, at any cost.

Your Prospective Government has Failed You! (so far)

It's time for that awe inspiring quadrennial event that inflames passions and competitiveness throughout this country...and the world. But unlike the Olympics, America's presidential cycle doesn't bring out the best in our country. Rather, we as a nation and a democracy continue to spiral downwards at the hands of a republican party intent on an incessant bombardment of negative campaigning and pandering to fears and racial tensions that further the division between our two parties.

Not even the diversion of watching the Olympics this weekend was enough to stave off the intrusion of one of this country's great embarrassments (no, not him, I'm referring to Republican attack ads). Even though the ads soured my enjoyment of the Olympic's opening ceremony and subsequent competition, I have to hand it to the neocons: they thought to buy a lot of air space during one of the most watched events in the world. They got their message out there - if you can call that hate-filled, dishonest, fear-mongering rubbish a message. Where was Obama? In Hawaii. On vacation.

The failure of our prospective new leadership, whomever he might be, is twofold: first, and foremost, is McCain for continuing the trend of loathsome, intellectually insulting campaigning that panders to the most common, ill-informed members of our society. I naively hoped that I'd seen the last of this four years ago and that McCain would be a different kind of Republican. But we're not so lucky. He is EXACTLY the same kind of weak-willed, do-nothing, dishonest politicians that have soiled the White House for the last 10 years (yes, I include Clinton's last two years in this).

Second, Obama doesn't get a pass. Because one thing that I'd hoped the Democrats had learned from the 2000 and 2004 elections is that if you are going to get in the ring with a dirty fighter, you need to be prepared to get dirty yourself. My father always told me never to start a fight, but he also taught me how to avoid losing one. Shame on Obama and his handlers for not being prepared for this. John Kerry tried to take the high road and it got him nowhere. With all apologies, turning the other cheek does not work in American politics. McCain thinks he can get away with this crap by nodding and winking and trying to act as if this is all a joke. But it isn't a joke. It's a tragedy. And if we get stuck with the same kind of politician for another four year...it will be because the Democrats still haven't figured out how to go blow-for-blow with their sinister counterparts. Maybe Obama is doing the rope-a-dope. Maybe the trip to Hawaii is like a fighter going to his corner, recharging before the next round. Let's hope so...I'm tired of watching the Democrats go down without a fight. But I'll tell you this...I wish that it was James Carville in Obama's corner...there is a man who knew how to fight Republican style campaigns.

When he is king…who will be the first against the wall?

Given the extreme polarization between America’s two political parties over the last 12 years, I often wonder if Obama (as president) would hold accountable Harriet Miers, Karl Rove, Alberto Gonzalez, Don Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and the myriad other progenitors of nefarious neoconservative political pogroms. Would there be a wave of vindictiveness to get payback for the 2000 Florida shenanigans? Swiftboating? Ken Starr? The U.S. attorney scandal? The Energy Taskforce scandal? Valerie Plame? Frankly, there is no shortage of viable targets at which the democrats could take aim if they regained control of the White House (and kept control of congress).

Part of me, however, worries that any such Democratic retribution would smack of the same overly zealous and reprehensible Republican policies that have so paralyzed our government, and divided this country. Despite the bitterness I still feel, and the anger that must surely well in the hearts of many of the democratic party’s older guard, maybe Obama will actually follow through on what now is a bitterly ironic reminder of George W. Bush, the candidate: being a “uniter” not a divider.

Bush didn’t succeed at much during his tenure, but he did succeed in creating one of the most hostile political environments this country has seen since Aaron Burr silenced his most famous critic 204 years ago in Weehawken, NJ. I won't be bitter if Obama aspires to repairing the damage rather than adding to it. But if the Dems are intent on holding the current administration accountable, I hope Cheney is the first against the wall.